BALANCE ACT – Tele-Coaching: Life/Nutrition/Workouts

Me ke Aloha Pumehana Hau’oli Makahiki!

If i did not capitlize or express correctly, please let me know. I live to learn. I find the Hawaiian language so special, rich, spiritual, beautiful.

Author note: This has not been edited and might be considered unprofessional in style and structure for many but it’s my voice and for the 5  or so people who elect to read, God love ya, here’s to your new year, enjoy! You deserve it!!! 

Here goes:

2000 words and 2.5 hours later . . .

I’m on deadline – or rather I’ve put everyone I am working with on deadline and it was asking a bit much and I was in really no position to ask. Not only do they all have other lives and responsibilities – and big, consuming, meaningful ones like families, jobs, corporations, partners, huge deals, end of month reporting, holiday parties – it’s also the last business day of the year! This registered off and on at points in the last few weeks but until now, the reality hadn’t sunk in. 

Still, no one has lashed out at me in frustration or anger and all have stepped up with amazing effort and follow through. Hands down (I really don’t know what this phrase means but obviously I will Google later - ok, googling now . . . stand by – “achieved without great effort”. Ok, well that was informative but if I may borrow a phrase from Anchorman “”Yeah. That, uh, expression doesn’t really apply to what I’m talking about”.

Anyway, I respect and admire these people immensely, enormously personally and professionally. Thank you Amy – again. I feel so incredibly fortunate to be in touch with them and could not have asked or found better people to work with – if in fact they still decide to work with me. Jury’s out . . . stay tuned.

In any event, since I’ve been pushing and pushing and waiting for updates from 11 people – 10 of whom are men, 2 that I’ve known for over 20 years, 3 of which I worked on a project with where I made a nominal amount of change, 5 who were total random contacts (and fodder for more amusing stories) or connected with random contacts, 2 partners of contacts (one random, one not), 2 whom I’ve never seen face to face and spoken to half a handful of times, 2 that I met within the past few months (1 of those in the past few weeks) . . . you get the picture – I’ve decided since 3:00 this morning not to call them but to wait for them to reach out and thus I take the time to share a funny story and pray the phone does not ring and distract me. For heaven’s sake, how dare they call now? That would be so rude.

Here goes: I’m in town. In my incredibly frenzied and frayed state and last-minute half-assed packing job, I neglected to include a few rather obvious items. When I started to dress to head out to the grocery store, I put on my mini-skirt and then searched for a tank top. Alas, the usual suspects were nowhere to be found. Rather than sport a binding bra (which I avoid at all costs – although I enjoy wearing it with t-shirts in a situation where I might be hugging someone who might like to ask me out at some point. I read somewhere that men like to hug women and in doing so get a feel for their chest size.

Since I have very little going on in that arena – and happy as heck with myself and this fact as a large bosom would interfere with my activities and make me think people were after me for more than my money. Just writing that makes me a. realize what a smart ass I can be and b. knowing me, as I do, and anyone that knows me, we are all sharing an inside “joke”, shaking our heads, and chuckling. Besides, by the time this gets to press, I will be wealthy so we can all laugh genuinely not that funny fake uncomfortable short breath rapid embarrassing type. People see through that shit.

Anyway, good lord, back to the story, at this rate, I’ll never make it to what happened before 10am! So, as delightful an idea as a padded bra might be in other circumstances and locales, I do not know a soul here and although known to many a day in the past, I don’t anticipate hugging any strangers as I simply CAN NOT handle anyone else in my world right now. Well, that’s a little dramatic and not entirely true. People who need people, they’re a lucky I’ve heard. I live for luck!

And even though mom always said to put on your best underwear as you’ll never know who you might meet – or was it you never know if you’ll get in some crazy accident and there you are laying bleeding on the street, gasping for breath, and people pass by with a tisk-tisk (you know the sound) and say “Such a shame . . . those ragged, oversized briefs simply do not go with that outfit. They are disturbing enough on their own.” Actually my mom never said any of that which is perhaps why I have an aversion to underwear – except on special occasions and thank heavens they don’t stay on too long. We like to please our parents but perhaps I read into that one just a little too much.

In any case, the search continued and I ended up empty handed except for one tank – white with pink letters and glitter that read in a sort of italic Helvetica font “Love Slave”. Indeed.

I forget I’m wearing the tank. Now, in normal situations and in a new place, I would be super friendly to everyone, saying aloha, smiling, asking questions, getting directions to the grocery store, etc. Also, in a normal state of mind (as opposed to 96 hours of sleep deprivation, dehydration, and long spells of low blood sugar fueled by large amounts of food that hasn’t made it onto my nutritional chart in quite some time) and cheery disposition, I would have recognized the fact that first impressions actually do carry some weight and since I am considering working and/or living here, I might at least put in the effort to present well or at least appear as if I acknowledge the physical world around me. It didn’t really work out that way.

I begin to walk, joyful and thankful for a brand new day, appreciating the beautiful surroundings, the lull of the ocean, the happy chatter of vacationers (what are so many people doing out and about I wonder?) and so many exciting things going on in my life. This lasts about a minute as I rapidly switch thoughts to a state of mild paranoia which in my world of drama is almost beyond devastating so I’m automatically elevated to heightened anxiety – and in public. No, I’m not on medication and not considering it This is life.

So, there I am walking, just tooling down the road, no care in the world, just another gal on vacation with a tank she’s forgotten she’s wearing and then it hits.

And I stop – after walking into two people – lost in thought. Why aren’t they calling, how do I maximize time when they call, who are they and I start to count and list the names and the number of people I’m waiting to hear from? Reference above. So there I am, not only a woman in a Love Slave tank but one standing lost in thought, counting on her fingers, forgetting and having to start over, and talking out loud with cell phone clearing not within speaker reach while passerbys/passerpeople/bypassers – shit whatever automatic word editor, they get my point – silently voice “Wonder who the new white trash psycho is.” It’s a rhetorical question. I flatter myself that anyone notices. They don’t. Just a woman and her thoughts and her wireless Blackberry sing it with me “Nobodyyyy knows . . . “ Furthermore, an added element to my altered state is that I most likely am coming across not only as out there but out there with an attitude. This ain’t no happy go lucky, chipper love slave. She is downright nasty.

At some point years later, I regain my senses and walk on. I must get food – I focus. After numerous false alarms, I ask for help and head in the direction I’ve been given. At this point, the brilliant idea hits me that I should figure out how to use the voice recorder on my phone so that I can share and re-live this special adventure in the days and months to come preferably never. This turns out to be not the best of ideas. I’m pushing buttons, talking, giggling, walking into cars and more people while I try to dictate, playback, forward . . . all while the blood sugar continues draining from my pores.

After standing by the fruit section, or was it the meat section, paper goods? I finally scold myself with a loud “Seriously Kass. This is ridiculous.” I made it to the fish section successfully until another wave hit me but not before noticing a gentleman next to me glancing over while hovering over his frozen catch. I couldn’t make a decision on fish to save my life but I decided to ponder the options while heading back up front to grab a basket. I can’t tell you how productive I felt simply getting the basket. Have basket, will shop at some point damn it. Watch me.

I end up back at the fish. Curiously the same man is there again, now on my left. Ok, time to pull it together and get out. Too late. I sense someone walking up behind me in line and with a quick glance see it’s him and another quick glance sends me to a rather animated,  obvious, and poorly overacted pause at the sign that reads something about “Cash Only” or “Only For Fully Functioning Folks, Back Away Freakster” or something along those lines and I escape.

Feeling very proud of myself for having avoided some sort of bizarre encounter – in my state, who on earth knows what I would have come up with. I could barely walk a straight line much less have an intelligent, correction, any intelligible conversation with a human being – animals, trees, cars – we could chat for hours. I settled into an aisle 4 doors down and my mind wandered and wondered again. Why aren’t they calling or emailing or texting.

It was only when someone passed by from left to center to far right that it registered it was him again and all came together – “That love slave walked into me, followed me around the store for hours, walked me right up to the checkout stand then blew me off and pretended not to recognize me minutes later! Bitch!” I feel bad because I’m normally a pretty friendly, chatty Kassie kinda gal and thankfully am happily married to a man I adore and who knows I get myself into these situations and it’s never what it seems. Oh wait, I’m not married. Scratch that. But if I were, he’d know. Is this why I’m single? So many questions, so little capacity to formulate them much less answer them.

I am now fully aware of the tank top and anxious to get back to the safety of my condo. Unfortunately, I walked a long, long way searching for said grocery store and now I have to walk back. After ending up near the highway and realizing something just wasn’t right, I turn half way around, see the ocean beckoning me home. I accept with a hearty chuckle and head toward the water and the main street which oddly is packed with throngs of people, walking, eating, biking, swimming, boating, shopping. Oh lord.

I have added two accessories to compliment my overall look and ensemble. Allow me to explain: In carrying the two grocery bags, I was one hand short to carry my phone and elected not to bag it lest those incredibly crucial phone calls ring in and I need to drop my bags immediately to grab it. So I holster it to my skirt and I’m off. Not surprisingly I’ve shed a few pounds with the terribly exciting events of the past few weeks and days and my skirt is a little lose. The weight of the phone yanked it down a little bit more and just enough to show a little skin and voila – another unexpected but very effective prop for my show. My sweaty underarms and less than attractive odor was the second – make that the third/

Hungry, tired of walking, and feeling somewhat sad that no one had called, I cheered up when I saw some bikes outside with a “For Rent” sign. Pleased, I stopped and thought, wow, this will be great! Then it dawned on me that in addition to carrying rather heavy bags with no basket to assist, still anticipating the phone call and need for urgent retrieval . . . I was still Kass commando . . .

—

!!!And still no one has called except my beautiful, sweet, and wonderful sister to whom I dedicate this story and the hundreds of others she’s listened to and laughed at. And they are all true. Thanks Berly Q. Calling you now J Love love.

If It Makes You Happy: Limits & Boundaries

There’s a snappy little tune that teases you with the lyrics “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.” You’re thinking “Right on! Finally someone who supports my vices! As you start head bobbing to the beat and feeling quite chipper about your indulgences, the song slips in “If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?” Darn it! How’s that for a buzzkill?

Once you snap your neck back into socket, you realize it’s a fair question. What are the “its” that makes you happy? What does “happiness” mean anyway – short term satisfaction or sustained calm and peace? Maybe a bit of both? If, in fact, as the song suggest, some of the same things that trigger your happy vibe also leave you feeling sad, what in tarnation is going on here?

For purposes of our discussion today, please consider the “its” as those things you just know aren’t that good for you (gambling, buckets of French fries, lying, cheating, killing indoor bugs, too much alcohol, making fun of almost everyone, ice cream at midnight, breaking the law, tearing the tags off the mattress – you get the picture).

Sometimes you just don’t care… cause it makes you soooooooo happy! Ah, but does it? Does it really? Do you suffer repercussions or pangs of guilt after the happy times end? Are your happy times hurting others? There you are enjoying yourself, making yourself happy, and BOOM! – in steps Dr. Phil.

This is by no means an easy scenario to address much less resolve. It takes time, experience, experimenting, and a healthy dose of humor and humility. In our defense, society provides mixed messages without setting boundaries. On one hand, you are encouraged and inspired with rallying cries of “You only live once! You may die tomorrow! Grab the bull by its horns! Live today as if it were your last!”

All great advice to face your fears and live life to its fullest – except the bull by the horns bit. That’s just silly from any seat in the house. Back to the rallying cries. Be honest. Have you used that as a handy excuse one hundred times too many?

Years later, when you’re still quite ALIVE but the kick is gone, you may question the years of reckless and unhealthy habits and feel a little sad. For, on the flipside, you know that responsibility and accountability, practicing health in mind and body, curbing and curtailing indulgent appetites, living for others and a greater

purpose feels really, really fabulous too. Herein lays the catch.

Does this mean you have to give up those happy habits completely with that damn cold turkey clucking at your side? Well, if you’re on the road to losing your life, family, friends, career, the answer would be “YES!” and a much deserved “Duh” for effect. You know yourself best. Get help. It might surprise you how clueless everyone else around you is in relation to what you know because… well, let’s face it, they have their own stuff to deal with. Get on with your bad self. Makes sense, right?

So, aside from addiction alley, perhaps the key and the opportunity to have the happys without too many sads is to figure out how to set limits and work within them – enjoy the pleasure and avoid the pain. Time for tactics. Review the following areas and design your own happiness-reward program based on what you recognize as potential “boundary busters”.

Use levels, limits, stats, percentages – whatever rocks your socks. Then put it to the test and tweak it as you go. Depending on what’s going on in your life (and this big, weird world), your tolerances will vary. You’ll figure it out. Be gentle on yourself.

1. Situation: The setting or company that you’re with seem fabulous at the time but later you realize you might have preferred to spend EVERY SINGLE NIGHT somewhere else, with someone else, or pursuing some other pastime. Figure out when and where to see this group – if at all. It’s OK. They’ll carry on without you.
2. Frequency: When you get something you love too often, it can lose its luster very quickly. Maybe save this “treat” for special times when you’ve accomplished 3 things you’ve been meaning to do FOREVER!
3. Amount: Similar to frequency, overindulgence can be very lovely at first and after helping 8, it’s just “sick and wrong”. Find your limits and set your boundaries. A taste of honey (and even a healthy dollop) is quite sweet and so much better than the bee stings and nasty welts. As many grandmas told us over and over and over and over and over again “Everything in moderation.” Touché!

And here’s a little something to help you to remember to never forget your sense of humor: A teacher read Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” The teacher paused then asked the class, “What do you think that farmer said?” One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy Shit! A talking chicken!’” The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. (From Why We Love Children. Thanks Melissa Varney!)

Thank you for taking time out to ride along.

Wishing you Life, Love, and Laughter all day long!

Will You Let That Creative Child Out Already?!

Everyone has a little performer tucked in there somewhere – ready to let their light shine… on or off stage. Is your creative side dying to get out but just hasn’t found the time, money, support, energy? If so, read on! How many times have you watched a movie, seen a performance, attended an art or photography exhibit, heard a song, read a book or an article, and thought “I could do that.” or “That is just bad. What was that person thinking? or “Who on earth would pay for that?”

First, who really cares if you like their work? Second, and along the same lines, everyone has different tastes and we’re so often reminded that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Third, it takes very little effort to criticize. Finally, anyone who steps up and puts him or herself out there deserves respect and recognition.

Which brings us to the question: How often do you “spectate” rather than participate? How often do you find yourself criticizing someone else’s work? Stop it. Hold your tongue and ask yourself why you feel compelled to comment. The disciplines you find fault with on a regular basis or with a great deal of exasperation or emotion more often than not indicate unexplored passions or untapped talents. Your judgments might simply be projections of the anticipated rejection you’d receive – which has led you to safely comment rather than create.

Maybe it’s time that that energy be injected into your creative juices. You may have loved drawing or singing or acting as a child and simply not pursued because of that fear of rejection or judgment – - the same stuff you’ve become quite adept at dishing out. Why not give yourself (and all those people around you who continue to listen to your griping and gossiping) a break and DO SOMETHING! Give it a shot! Dive in! Leap and the net will appear.

Once you do, many wonderful things are bound to happen.

1. You gain confidence in yourself and a realization that it makes you happy and who really cares what anyone else thinks.
2. You value the process and are able to enjoy your progress.
3. You develop a great deal of appreciation and respect for those who have chosen to step out there and build their creative bones.
4. You find yourself encouraging and supporting other people’s creative expressions – whatever they may be.
5. You can say “I’m doing it! I did it” instead of talking about it.
6. You will gravitate toward people with similar interests and lifestyles as well as similar challenges.
7. You might reach a point where you want to share your work and see how it is received.

Go for it! You’ll never know until you do. You may actually make some money!

Mercury Please Get the Hell Out of Retrograde – ENOUGH already!!!

Retrograde & Reflection . . . So what on earth is going on these days?

Ah, but of course – - Mercury is in Retrograde perhaps? Question: What does it mean when the planet Mercury goes “retrograde” in the sky? Answer: Mercury, the Roman god of “communications and everyday routines” seldom gets much attention in astrology, except those times when he briefly turns retrograde (backwards) in the transiting (moving) sky. Then Mercury gets blamed for just about anything (and everything) that might go “wrong.” The traditional meaning assigned to Mercury going “retrograde” in the sky is that of unexpected delays and frustrations in everyday life routines and in communications (side note: losing your keys, relationship woes, car issues, cell phone glitches, computer crashes).

During the (very) approximate 24 day periods when Mercury turns “retrograde” in the sky, astrologers generally recommend delaying of the signing contracts and other important life decisions. It is a time better spent in reflection and rethinking things. The planet, Mercury, during it’s time spent in retrograde is mythologically the grand patron of the “Freudian slip.” (End of astrology’s explanation).

Oh my. Whether or not you believe, why not grab hold of this opportunity and milk it for all it’s worth! Consider the concepts, keep an eye out for the quirks, and give that poor Roman God a gander. Tie it into your Spring Fling of rebirth and renewal! Approach those few weeks as a perfect time (and welcome “excuse”) to settle into reflection on the rhythms of your life. Watch your natural patterns and levels of emotions, energy, interest, and productivity with wonder. Make note of where you’re at in your life to this point and determine what you’d like to accomplish in the months and years to come.

If anyone asks why you’re sporting that dazed and empty stare, simply shake your head, sigh, and state “Mercury . . . (long pause) retrograde” and they’ll probably leave you alone. When Mercury gets back on track, you’ll be refreshed and in a much stronger, calmer state to make adjustments and make things happen. Enjoy the reflective respite while it lasts as this spell must come to an end.

If you’re craving a visual . . . “We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.” – Aneurin Bevan Cheers!

Thank you for taking time out to ride along. Wishing you Life, Love, and Laughter all year long!

Silence – When You Say Nothing at All

Silence – When You Say Nothing at All.

Silence is “absolute stillness.” In that stillness lays structure… and sincerity… and simplicity. Silence indeed can be golden.When speech is silenced, one is exposed to a wondrous world of accentuated sights, sounds, smells and senses.

It seems curious and incredibly challenging to express the power of silence with actual words but here’s to the attempt. The other option was simply Silence = Power in large bold letters on an otherwise blank page. Shall we continue?

Let silence be broken… without a word spoken. Silence can scream of power, of beauty, of confidence, of completeness. Have you ever been so overwhelmed by emotion and intensity that you are left speechless? If you harnessed that energy, what magic might you make?

Listen closely to what you say today. How often do you mouth words or phrases simply out of habit? How often do your words reflect a bruised or threatened ego? When we focus on what to say, we can not truly listen nor, one may argue, can we fully understand another. It’s easy to get lost in the language at the expense of the communication.

Translation from mouth to ear is no exact science. Yet when you remove the weight of empty words and let your other senses “speak”, you move closer to pure and honest expression. Actions (expressions, stances, gestures) speak louder than words rings true once again. “When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

For a little variety and a whole lot of perspective, practice complete silence as often and for as long a stretch as you can for the next week. Tap into your other senses and tune into the cues around you crying out for attention and recognition. Be quiet and listen and watch. Explore the richness and detail of a look, an expression, a sound, a touch.

With practice and patience, you will be able to hear and see and “say” so much. When immersed in silence, you create a space to absorb the bountiful stimulus that surrounds you. In a state of silence, it is also much more difficult to escape your “self” than when you are chattering mindlessly. In quiet reflection, you tend to become more open and honest and vulnerable.

Over time, you will learn to speak volumes to yourself and others… without saying a word. You will experience those “unspoken connections” that are priceless and add a richness and depth to your relationships that can’t be defined or explained.

Keith Whitley & Allison Krauss come pretty close and say it beautifully with these lyrics:

• It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart.
• Without saying a word, you can light up the dark.
• Try as I may I can never explain.
• What I hear when you don’t say a thing.”

Practice Silence. May what you experience leave you speechless.

Happy Earth Day – listen up.

Top Tips to Let That Little Light of Yours Shine Shine Shine!

What are some simple ways to find that little light of yours and let it shine! Inspired by our current scattered state of affairs, it seemed appropriate to simply toss out random thoughts that might strike a chord and blossom into song. For instance, begin with a whisper and build to a boisterous belting “This little light of mine… I’M GONNA LET IT SHINE!!”

Or this: 70% of people believe in angels. If you are one of them, it might be a fine time to check in, say thank you, and ask them to keep you covered.

Since this is going so well, shall we continue? Why not. It is said that 10-15 times a day, we are presented with signs that indicate which direction we are to move in our lives to fulfill our purpose. How thrilling! These little gifts come in many packages: a thought, a sign (literally), a TV show, a newspaper article, a person, an image, a phone call, an email, a song lyric.

Your mission – should you choose to accept it – Be on the lookout. Be vigilant if you will. Take notes and see what kinds of messages and patterns appear. They are out there for you to discover. What a wondrous way to greet each day!

Monica Sheehan chimes in with a few tips on “Happiness”.

1. Have a sense of Wonder
2. Stay Inspired
3. Help Others
4. Do Things You’re Good At
5. Read Books
6. Limit TV
7. Love Your Work
8. Exercise
9. Face Your Fears
10. Believe in Yourself
11. Stay Close to Friends and Family
12. Let Your Heart be Your Guide

Outstanding! Simple, sweet, kind, genuine. Thanks Monica! A good list to print and post.

Martin E.P. Seligman, author or 20 books on Happiness, offers “Principles of Authentically Happy Folks”.

1. Everyone benefits. Concept – Adopt a win-win strategy.
2. Savoring Success. Concept – Savor current successes but also tap into those in the past to help deal with present challenges.
3. Social Intelligence. Concept – Know which strengths to use and which to avoid with a particular person or situation.

And if you’re still craving more, Martin’s expert advice on happiness marches on.

     1st: Others can’t define it for you. It’s yours to create.

     2nd: You can’t buy it. If you don’t believe that, try to buy it and see what happens.

     3rd: Life isn’t a spectator sport. Be engaged. There is power in participation!

To close, a favorite phrase and beautiful thought from the movie Adaptation. “It’s what you love… not what loves you.” That deserves another read. Let your little light shine.

What’s my Point, Counterpoint, & Purpose?

What’s my point, counterpoint & purpose – OH MY! Ah… the age old question – Why are we here? Ever wonder what in tarnation it is that you are supposed to be doing with your life? Where in the heck is that instruction manual anyway?

There is a school of thought which suggests that every human being is born with special gifts and talents and it is his/her duty to use them. What are your gifts? If you’re thinking “Yeah right, I missed that semester.” try again. It could be making people laugh, teaching, working with kids, being creative, building “stuff”, figuring things out, bringing people together, being honest.

Next questions:

1. Have you created a life that allows you to use these talents as often as possible?
2. Do you use them to make the world a better place?
3. How might you go about doing that?

It’s one thing to recognize your talents and quite another to consider it your responsibility to share them with the world. It’s helpful to look at it as a way to give back and say thanks for letting you spend a little time here on earth.

I recently heard the following exchange initiated by a man who had finally discovered his passion and purpose and was looking desperately for a loophole. Man: “Does the world really need another writer?” Mentor: “The world does not know what it needs. We offer what we have.” Dead silence lingered until the weight snapped the safety on the wrecking ball and sent it crashing through the man’s glass house, shattering his precious and protected world. He quit his job that day and started to write.

Are you offering all you have? Figure out what it is you have been blessed with and put it to work. Many are not ready to chuck it all right away or feel that their gifts will lose their magic if they try to “make a living from it”. No problem! Start part-time or make it a weekend project. Let the momentum loose and it will take you for the ride of your life.

In the process of putting your purpose to action, you may find it increasingly difficult and frustrating to engage in idle chit chat. This is natural and to be expected. Others may be threatened by your new challenges and goals and their responses may simply be a projection of their own fears.

Be gentle with yourself and with them. This can be a remarkable opportunity to stretch and grow beyond the comfort zone for everyone involved. Be strong and true to your path and keep pushing forward. Hyman Rickover offers the following “Small minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas.” Be a great mind.

Courtesy of Will Rogers: “People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.” Don’t talk action or talk trash. Take action. And one more to wrap it up: “Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, Today is a gift.” (Joan Rivers I believe.). Rip off that pretty packaging and get your party started!

Looking for Fun, Innocent, and Cheap Entertainment?

Looking for fun, innocent, and cheap entertainment? You’ve come to the right place! As we wallow in murky economic and global

 waters, you may find yourself scaling back on expenditures – including entertainment. Does this mean no more fun? Pray tell no.

An untapped resource lies just beneath the surface in great abundance and is available at very little expense… well perhaps at times at the expense of others to which you’ll note; No plan is perfect.

With that disclaimer, it is a distinct pleasure to welcome you to the “Community of Quirks”. Cheap thrills perhaps but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. So don your goggles, slip on the flippers, and dive in!

Call them what you will – Quirks, idiosyncrasies, habits, curiosities, oddities. We all have them. They make us special and unique. They can also drive others insane or amuse them to tears. They can offer fabulous opportunities to increase intimacy and create lovely memories.

Of course, they can also cross the line between teasing and offending, endearing and embarrassing. Unfortunately, sometimes you don’t know until you try. Such is life. You may lose friends, be shut off from your family, and/or fired from your job.

Alas, in the big picture, you’ll rack up some very amusing anecdotes that will make you laugh… and laugh… and laugh – at some time in the future – and probably by yourself. A word of caution on this journey: Keep it kind. Of course, it can’t hurt to have a genuine apology lined up and ready to fire off just in case.

Let’s break down these UPC’s (Unique Personality Characteristics) into 3 types/scenarios.

1. Idiosyncrasies (of friends/family): Special nuances or “secrets” that only close friends and family are privy to. A look, a reference, a word can trigger instantaneous connection and laughter. For instance, mirroring someone’s laugh, speech pattern (unless they have an impediment of course), walk (again with consideration), dance move (well, this is a difficult call), mannerisms, or gestures can serve to delight, diffuse tension, and make for some wonderful charades.
2. Quirks & Habits (of strangers): The scene might go like this. You and a friend find yourselves in the company of one who is exhibiting behavior that strikes you as odd – and hilarious! The more discreet your teasing, the more enjoyable this can be. If your victims get wind that they are the object of your “affections”, they may be hurt or offended. That’s bad. Here’s where that apology is appropriate. In some cases, however, the attention may egg them on which will most likely provide additional amusement. Picture a diva acting as god’s gift – which of course she is but stick with me. You and your buddy nod and toss each other a pained wrinkled forehead which silently but clearly states “Seriously, wrap that back up sister. That ain’t no gift to be sharing!”
3. Caricatures & Character Types (of groups): Here we broaden our scope and take a characteristic of a type of person (celebrity, politician) or community (Midwesterners, Californians, Catholics) and poke fun. The SNL skit mimicking Bill Clinton jogging and chatting while inhaling Big Macs will stick with me for EVER as a funny. Successful sitcoms and comedians do this beautifully through detail, drama, and very delicate timing. It’s an art. Interestingly, by blowing something out of proportion, it settles into its appropriate space in our lives. Often, the tougher the times or more taboo the subject, the greater relief and pleasure we experience when we can laugh through it. Humans are funny creatures and laughter is healing. So yuck it up and spread around a little sunshine. We can all use a lot more of that!

EXPRESS YOURSELF: Question of the Year: “I would like to know if you’re on crack.” – An Enron employee to Ken Lay in Oct. 2001 Q&A. Go figure: Ford CEO Jacques Nasser awarded $17.9 million in compensation for year in which company posted $5.5 billion loss and cut 35,000 workers from its payroll. Nothing like smokin’ from the same pipe.

Blooming Cherry Blossoms & Hakanasa

“‘Hakanasa’ is a hard-to-translate word that conveys the fragility, or evanescence, of life.” (taken from a recent article by Associated Press writer Joji Sakurai subtiitled “Cherry blossoms emerge in Japan as a poignant symbol of the transcience of life.”)

Just a quick note to say Happy Hakanasa – wherever and however it fits into your journey. Hearts and prayers to Japan.

Top 10 Ways to Make a Fresh Start

Hats off! You made it… a fresh, new, exciting day, month, week, year starting right now! Are you beaming with delight at the prospects? Bursting with passion and hope for a world filled with peace and prosperity? Grinning ear to ear constantly for no reason whatsoever except that “I’m OK, you’re OK, and gosh darn it, people like you?’

Or perhaps it’s more like you’re drowning in old New Year’s resolutions? Dragging yourself by the nose hairs back into work, life, routine? Lugging around an extra six pack?

Whatever your state, it’s a fine time for reflection and an incredible opportunity to make this year one of the best – ever. It’s so tempting and comforting to fall into old patterns. Don’t do it! Look them in the eye and say Buh Bye my Bads, Buh Bye!

Take these Top 10 to heart for a swift kick in the pants and V-8 smack in the head.

1. 98% of our anatomy is new every year!!! Your bones are re-created every 3 months. Ooo, that’s neat!
2. What WILL mean a thing in 100 years is what you leave behind. Make an impact.
3. One exposure to an idea results in 2% retention after 16 days. Six exposures over 6 days results in 62% retention for 15 years to life!! Stick with it.
4. It takes only 13 muscles to smile and 112 muscles to frown. Smile and save your exertion for that six pack.
5. Less than 3% of people write down their goals. Less than 1% read and review their goals regularly. Have you written something down? We’ll wait.
6. 88% of those surveyed said they often or sometimes come across people who are rude or disrespectful. Be nice. Let the love flow.
7. 90% of our worries are about things that will never happen. Well now, that frees up some time doesn’t it?
   

   Jump for Joy! YAY!

8. Read – Read – Read – every day. Learn – Listen – Change the world.
9. Don’t blame, complain, gossip, judge. Take responsibility. Drop the Drama. OK, that’s sort of a 3 in 1.
10. It’s all a matter of perspective.
11. (Bonus!) Every 14 minutes someone dies. Are you raising that stat as one of the living dead? Wake up!!! Live!

In support of enticing you into ACTION, recall the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Crazy is as crazy does Forrest Gump. 1.) Act different. 2.) Think different.

Remember, you average 60,000 thoughts a day – Make them count. Embrace each new season with an insatiable energy and enthusiasm. May this be the beginning of your amazing years to remember. Happy, healthy New You! Let’s get this party started.

 TIME’S a TICKIN’: Simply: “Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – St. Francis of Assisi. Again, start by doing what is necessary… any ideas?