Aug
19
2010
What are 8 keys to keep it in perspective? Lighten it up. It’s all good. Shake it off. Remember the song stanza “It won’t mean a thing in a hundred years.” When the trials of life stare you in the face, try a tag line. They’ve become popular for a reason. A simple snap of awareness can redirect your attention, energy, and communication.
That’s not to say that some issues don’t deserve your serious time and attention. It’s more about picking your priorities and giving yourself (and the folks around you rolling their eyes) a break. All of that other “stuff” can consume you, weigh you down, and hopefully prompt you to ponder “In the whole scope of things, is it really that big of a deal?” It’s probably not.
The simple fact that we number 1 in 6+ billion people in this world can do wonders for your crisis-driven, overly egocentric mind. Getting over yourself can free you to give back and leave something behind that will make a difference 100, 1000 years from now. Think collectively. Change your response, change your life, and change the world. A few tips and techniques to lighten it up.
- Think of the way people in other cultures and countries live every day and count your blessings.
- Incorporate “whatever” into your lingo and when the cookie crumbles and the milk spills, throw out a “whatever”, grab a spoon, and lap it up!
- When others push your buttons, smile and say “Maybe you’re right. Interesting point.” Or simply say “Excuse me” and walk away.
- Open all of the windows and shades and let the light shine in.
- Shed a layer or clothing and let your skin breathe!
- Wear bright colored clothes at least four times a week.
- Skip, yep skip like a kid, preferably in public but the privacy of your home is excellent training ground as well.
- Clear your calendar. Say no to everything and everyone for a week, a month. Wow, what might you do with all of that free time?
- BONUS: Go climb a hill, mountain, tree, building. Literally rise above the noise and the hassle. Capture that feeling, bring it down with you, and call it back the next time you’re tested.
Then, give yourself a break and take your own best advice – Lighten up and keep it in perspective.
Express Yourself: Give this one a try – do the wave! Perfect opportunity with horns blaring, people swearing, tensions flaring. Hold back that flying finger and flip ‘em a wave instead. They may think they know you. They may actually know you. Add a smile and watch out!
Aug
17
2010
How can I learn to be more tolerant? What is tolerance? By definition: The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others. Tall order? Well sometimes, yes! Certain people seem to have a knack for pushing just the right buttons to throw you into a frenzy.
Herein lies the challenge – - to snap or to stretch. When the scale slides toward the snap, think or say “Everyone has a place in this world. We are but human.” The reasons may not be readily apparent but it you absorb this philosophy and keep an open mind, you might surprise yourself with creative and enlightening answers.
Here are some thoughts to consider:
- Do you have habits of gossiping or judging without really knowing the whole story?
- Do you really want to hear this person’s viewpoint? If not, ask yourself why.
- Do you make an effort to communicate with others in a way that demonstrates acceptance and respect?
- If you had a similar background, might you behave the same way? Exercising empathy builds tolerance.
- Consider the four fingers pointing back at you. Often, what we can not tolerate in others is what we can not stand in ourselves. A person’s words or behavior may strike a nerve and expose wounds, fears, or insecurities that we would rather ignore. Don’t shoot the messenger! You may thank that person some day.
Tolerance provides us with an incredible opportunity to learn about ourselves, others, our world, and practice peace. There are golden nuggets hidden in people and places each and every day. Take the time to tap into them and a world of riches will unfold.
Time’s a Tickin’: Talk about tolerance! The daily errands can sometimes make you nuts! Here are a few tips to cope:
- Ask yourself if the chore is absolutely necessary
- Create errand areas (coffee, dry cleaning, gym, post office) and park just once!
- Research and buy online (headache heaven)
- Call ahead
- Make and use your lists
- Run errands in non-peak hours
- Schedule weekly/monthly errands 8. Use your wait time to read, write, listen to a tape, make phone calls, chill and chat with strangers.
Thanks for taking the time to ride along
Wishing you life, love, and laughter… all day long!
Aug
8
2010
Effective Communications – Be Consistent in Your Words & Actions. If you are not consistent in your words and actions, are you being true to yourself? Granted, we may be constantly changing but I am referring to saying one thing and doing another or telling one person something and another something else.
It is exhausting to keep up so many stories and you’re asking to get caught aren’t you? Ask yourself why. Do you feel you deserve it as a form of self-punishment? You really don’t. Why set yourself up?
It would be better to figure out what you think and feel (at that moment even though it may change) and then say it and stand by it as opposed to telling yet another white lie and getting caught up in your own drama. People can’t and don’t want to keep up with that. Stick with the people that are consistent. If they aren’t, consider calling them on it – with kindness and not in front of others.
We all have insecurities. Be aware and be gentle with yourself and others. Spend time with people who are true to themselves. It is incredibly refreshing and sometimes challenging. It may take some time but once you’re aware, you may catch yourself mid-sentence and self-correct.
Next time you tell someone you’re home sick and then show up sitting next to them at the movie theater or a restaurant, you might give it another thought. Simply make a point in the future to tell the truth. If you can’t handle that initially, say nothing and try writing down your feelings once you get them sorted out.
It feels so good and so clean to be caring and considerate and honest. No doubt you will find out a great deal about yourself and others and it could initiate some very meaningful conversations about what’s important to people, who they spend time with in what setting and why. There is a lot of respect and virtue in being consistent and honest and true. Once you’re in the habit, it’s awfully tough to go back.
Express Yourself… through the expressions of someone else. Try laughter first. It’s a hoot! If you elect to mimic a co-worker or stranger, you might be quick to explain your exercise prior to implementation lest you frighten or offend someone. You might test it out while watching television or listening to the radio.
Jul
21
2010
Hello World!
Just a quick note to let you know that if you are enjoying the Lifestyle and Mindset articles, why not treat yourself to the ebook “How Do I Find My Balance?”
I am making a Special Limited Time offer for only $7! It contains 35 articles in the area of Positive Thinking and Mindset – some of which you’ve read as blog posts here. I will be making it available in hard copy as well.
Thank you so much for your support!
Kass
Jul
5
2010
What are the secrets to becoming disciplined? How disciplined are you? Score yourself from 1-10. Webster states “Discipline – to train or develop by instruction and exercise… especially in self-control.” Please read that again. If you didn’t give yourself a high score, it’s understandable. We know we could be more disciplined yet we tend to resist and defend our ways fiercely.
After all, we’ve made it this far and we’re not dead or in jail right? The fact is, we are creatures of habit and we have many good ones. You brush your teeth and shower fairly regularly right? Those are excellent habits that require discipline.
Why not apply this to some other areas in need of tlc? To avoid frustration, it might help to keep in mind the following:
1st: The benefits of the new habit must exceed the old (increased health, career advancement, better relationships). Otherwise, where is the motivation?
2nd: It takes about 34 days to internalize and develop a new habit. Simply knowing this makes a world of difference. Commit to that time frame and give yourself a chance.
3rd: Start with a mini-version. Write down one thing you have been meaning to do (send a letter, drop off alterations, buy flowers). Give yourself a one-week deadline and check it off. This will get you in the mindset and allow you to move forward with confidence and success.
Suggestions to stay on track:
1. Distract yourself through the pain and discomfort phase… write, take a walk, make a phone call, paint, listen to music.
2. Engage your mind elsewhere. You will surprise yourself. Time will fly by and you will have made it over the hump.
3. Be gentle on yourself. If you fall off track, so what? Get back on. You can do it and if it’s important enough to you, you will.
Time’s a Tickin’: View once then act, forward, or file! Once you get the hang of it, you’ll find it difficult to go back. Think of dealing with each memo, letter, email, call, meeting in this way and you’ll develop new patterns and start to plan ahead. The payoff is reduced stress, efficiency, and an incredible sense of accomplishment and productivity. No more procrastination. Prioritize and determine what deserves your immediate attention.
Thanks for taking the time to ride along
Wishing you life, love, and laughter… all day long!
Jun
18
2010
Variety is the spice of life so sprinkle it on. In fact, why not take the cap off and let it pour! As you head into another season, Mother Nature presents us with delightful new sights, sounds, and that “fever” and sense of renewal coupled with spectacular, often sporadic bursts of energy. If this hits you unexpectedly and has no outlet for a positive release, you may experience frustration or anxiety that can lead to illness.
Why not harness that power and put it to work! Simple adjustments in your “routine” can bring a wishing well of treasures to your world and a felling of invigoration, intrigue, and inspiration. An effective and simple tactic – ACTION.
1. Summer Clean. Toss out the old and make room for the new. Trash it, give it away, say goodbye, simplify, wear as few clothing items as possible and let your skin and your spirit breathe!
2. Get away. Physically remove yourself from the familiar. Take that road never traveled… explore your own backyard, visit a place you’ve never been – the library or café around the corner will do nicely.
3. Spend time with someone outside your circle. Ask questions of someone you see every day and know nothing about. Open your mind and your heart.
4. Try a new hobby or activity. Drop one that clutters your calendar and sucks your energy.
5. Call old friends and colleagues and leave a message just to say hello. Let your light be infectious.
6. Write down 1 goal and make it happen. By the very nature of writing it down, you’ve put the wheels in motion to make it materialize. It will also simply grate on your nerves until you do something about it!
These simple activities can be wonderfully consuming and incredibly revealing as to what floats your boat and what parts of you may have been tucked away and that you really miss. Set your course to head off course now and then and sail through the Summer on an exciting adventure!
As you start to toss aside conventions and clear the cobwebs, resist the temptation to go overboard and sink into frustration, anxiety, illness. Step back, relax, reflect, enjoy and wait for the next wave to carry you away!
Money Matters: Yes, money does matter but how much is enough? What do you really need and how much do you spend? If your income was cut in half, what would you do? If it doubled, what would that mean to you? What does your money represent – freedom, control, power, status, choice, comfort? Do you allocate spending based on your values and priorities or those of society? Think it out, write it out . . . act.
Jun
2
2010
What’s involved in facing your fears? There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Isn’t fear enough? Do other cultures use such catchy phrases? 
Per Webster “Fear – an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by expectations or awareness of danger.” Not only can fear be “unpleasant”, it can be destructive and downright debilitating.
Dread, panic, terror, trepidation. There are many faces of fear and all elicit a feeling of un-ease. Everyone has fears: of failure, rejection, abandonment. We’re human!
Fear may in fact have benefited early civilizations by signaling danger, triggering fight or flight, and ensuring the survival of our species. Today, when our basic survival needs are met, fear can stop in to rob us of a peaceful and fulfilling life.
We were fear-free as children. How do we get that back? Mark Twain suggests courage. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is control of fear, mastery of fear. Great concept!
Let’s start building our master Courage Control Center. Gently remove Emotion & Install Reason.
- Where does your fear come from and what effect is it having on your life?
- What’s the worst case scenario if your fears were realized? What would you do?
- Reduce the drama. List the fear along with simple, innocuous tasks (grocery shop, dry cleaning, quit my job, dentist, break up with girlfriend) to diffuse its intensity.
- Talk to those you trust and lend your ear to what they fear. This will keep perspective, confirm that you are not alone, and generate ideas on coping. Of course, this doesn’t let you off the hook but makes your fears more manageable and may give you a chance to help a friend in need.
- Educate yourself. Don’t let ignorance exacerbate your fear. Simply understanding the physiological effects of the onset of the emotion can decrease the mystery and anxiety. For instance, most public speakers go through symptoms of fear before each event – beating heart, sweaty palms, shaky hands, trembling voice. That’s refreshing and completely normal and expected.
- Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain. Psychologists label this “systematic desensitization” in which you repeat an action until it holds no fear for you at all.
Face your fear and just do it! Hit the panic button. Go ahead. 
Check it off, move on the next challenge, and let your courageous child out to play.
Super Stats: Research suggests that 90% of our worries are about things that will never happen. What a waste! If not addressed, they can spiral out of control and lead to phobias and debilitating disorders. So focus your time, energy, and money on areas which you can control and enjoy the ride.
May
13
2010
I thought I’d toss this out. Let’s try it for a week . . . and seriously, let me know how it goes. More geared towards women than men as they carry more body fat but all around good info. Check it out.
I’m going to keep this ridiculously simple and straightforward. Fill in the blanks. You get it.
- Increase your Water intake – double it – don’t drink water with meals, wait 1 hour or more after eating
- Decrease Stress – whatever it takes and whatever it means. Drop it. Say no. Say goodbye. Stop fighting. Quit.
- Sleep sound – Let it go. Let the universe figure it out. It will. Your job is to snuggle in and sleep. Sweet dreams. Night night.
- Eat Well – Fresh fruits, veggies, clean/lean protein. 5-6 small balanced meals a day.
- Clean air – go find nature and drink it in
- Exercise – move – 1 hour a day
- Breathe – yes, breathe – all day. It’s frightening how often when I’m writing or working on a proposal, I forget this. I also read that 10 deep breaths in front of an open window before sleep works wonders. I am psyched to try this . . . be open.
That’s it. Work it. I also understand that massage, sauna, dry sand bath, friction rub, and iodine (onions, garlic, beans, seafood, seaweed, asparagus, carrots, tomatoes, pears, strawberries, mushrooms, lettuce, and egg yolks) are fantastic.
Take it all in, take notes, and let’s all see how this goes!
Here’s to ya.
May
5
2010
Our topic today is fitness webinars, health webinars, nutrition webinars, self-improvement webinars, positive mindset webinars.
By the way, hope all is ducky in your day. If not, do something to make it so now! Smile, laugh, call a friend, learn something, sing, relax, breathe, celebrate life and you . . .
Just wanted to give you (my exclusive club and crew) a heads up – I am planning a webinar and would really like your feedback on specific questions you have or topics you would like to cover in the areas of exercise, nutrition, and mindset.
Please submit and I will keep you posted on times and dates! Oh, and on that note, please let me know what times and days work best for you and I will do my best to coordinate. It seems like Tues-Thursday seems to work best in the past at 6 or 7 EST.
Let me know and as always, thank you for your wonderful support and feedback!
Heads up – BALANCE ACT is growing and we’ll be redirecting you to a new blog in the next month or so. Very exciting. Stay tuned!
Yours in health and happiness,
Coach K
May
3
2010
Embark upon a Vision Quest! Vision is more than what is seen with the naked eye. It’s a “vivid mental image… the power of imagination. Unusual competence in discernment or perception.” What is your Vision for yourself, your family, your career? With the current state of affairs, the horizon might look quite cloudy.
This quote seems apropos: “Anyone who isn’t confused here doesn’t really understand what’s going on.” (Nigel Wrench). You have gotta love it! And of course since we are of the educated elite class that actually does know what’s going on, we admit our incredible confusion and wonder how best to proceed.
Time for Vision Quest! If you can not control the weather (and heaven knows 50% of the time the meteorologists have difficulty reporting it), at least you can control your response and dress appropriately. And really, without the
rain, would the sunny days seem as sweet or the grass as green? Use that imagination, create a vivid mental picture, step up and captain your ship. First, do a little surveying.
- Crew – Who is on board?
- Compass – Where are you?
- Map – Where are you headed right now, in 1 year, 3 years, 10 years?
- Supplies- Do you have everything you need? Any necessary repairs, replacements, investments?
- Communication – Who knows where you are, where you are going, when you will return? How will you keep in touch?
- Ports – Where and when will you stop to rest, refuel, and recharge your batteries?
And now, you are ready to SET SAIL! Let your journey begin! Use your tools, keep your destination in sight, and carry on Mate. Expect to hit some rough waters and maybe even head overboard for a swift spell. In time and with attention, you will learn to self-correct at the slightest change in wind. Here’s to a world of adventure and discovery. Make each day count and the years will add treasures beyond measure. “The years teach much what the days never knew.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Time’s a Tickin’: Delegate. “The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” (Theodore Roosevelt). Beautifully put. Simple in theory, challenging in practice. Start small. Set aside your pride and think productivity. What can you do with that free time and energy. Go! Delegate with delight!!
