Facing Your Fears

What’s involved in facing your fears? There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Isn’t fear enough? Do other cultures use such catchy phrases? Per Webster “Fear – an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by expectations or awareness of danger.” Not only can fear be “unpleasant”, it can be destructive and downright debilitating.

Dread, panic, terror, trepidation. There are many faces of fear and all elicit a feeling of un-ease. Everyone has fears: of failure, rejection, abandonment. We’re human!

Fear may in fact have benefited early civilizations by signaling danger, triggering fight or flight, and ensuring the survival of our species. Today, when our basic survival needs are met, fear can stop in to rob us of a peaceful and fulfilling life.

We were fear-free as children. How do we get that back? Mark Twain suggests courage. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is control of fear, mastery of fear. Great concept!

Let’s start building our master Courage Control Center. Gently remove Emotion & Install Reason.

Where does your fear come from and what effect is it having on your life?
What’s the worst case scenario if your fears were realized? What would you do?
Reduce the drama. List the fear along with simple, innocuous tasks (grocery shop, dry cleaning, quit my job, dentist, break up with girlfriend) to diffuse its intensity.
Talk to those you trust and lend your ear to what they fear. This will keep perspective, confirm that you are not alone, and generate ideas on coping. Of course, this doesn’t let you off the hook but makes your fears more manageable and may give you a chance to help a friend in need.
Educate yourself. Don’t let ignorance exacerbate your fear. Simply understanding the physiological effects of the onset of the emotion can decrease the mystery and anxiety. For instance, most public speakers go through symptoms of fear before each event – beating heart, sweaty palms, shaky hands, trembling voice. That’s refreshing and completely normal and expected.
Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain. Psychologists label this “systematic desensitization” in which you repeat an action until it holds no fear for you at all.

Face your fear and just do it! Hit the panic button. Go ahead. Check it off, move on the next challenge, and let your courageous child out to play.

Super Stats: Research suggests that 90% of our worries are about things that will never happen. What a waste! If not addressed, they can spiral out of control and lead to phobias and debilitating disorders. So focus your time, energy, and money on areas which you can control and enjoy the ride.

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